• Can You Find True Happiness?

    Is it really possible to be truly happy? You may wake up in the morning like any person…..with problems or obstacles. You are content with where your life is and the direction it is going, but it isn’t the true happiness you’ve read about or dreamed of. You may have to dig really deep to answer it.  It may feel easy to read about on paper, but tough to process honest answers about your life. This is something many people struggle with today, so know that you aren’t alone.


    For myself, I know that true happiness can be achieved because I have done so, but you will have to dig really deep to find it for yourself. And, it’s a moving target as we move through life. This is something many people struggle with today, so know that you aren’t alone and don’t have to do it by yourself.


    I am a therapist who works with many people on their journey to find their own version of happiness. I won’t lie to you. I don’t have a magic formula or gimmick…..probably no one does. The thoughts you have while reading this article are meant to help you have honest conversations with yourself…..about your own happiness.


    What Is Happiness?


    Finding true happiness throughout life is something that we all strive for because it is a common human desire. Know that true happiness is possible and achievable. But it’s like a moving target…..you must be in sync with it to know just what happiness means to you. Its meaning seems to change as quick as the weather.


    Happiness has to be broken down into small moments in time instead of one large confusing mental block that may have you lost and unable to figure things out. You may feel depressed, anxious, or confused about your life right now. While there is much suffering in the world, there are also so many people who have found the key to their own happiness in their lives.


    Happiness has been described as being in meaningful relationships. Jobs that you feel align with your calling in life.


    It may not feel as easy to admit that your relationship has been in trouble for some time or that you are in a great deal of stress trying to make something work in your life, but it’s not working.….you are unhappy with things in your life. A relationship, job, family, you name it. Use this time to figure out what needs your attention. To be honest, most people are struggling to find that balance right now. Having awareness of what aligns with your values, your joys, and foundation of who you are or have become is the key to happiness.


    Happiness is not a mood. It is not found in things. It’s almost like a muscle that needs conditioning throughout your lifetime. Something that will always be used to stay balanced in life. Think about that for a minute. Conditioning for happiness. What do you think you are currently doing to condition yourself for your own happiness?


    When life happens, you have to make decisions, adjust, or pivot to what may be going on. You may be working on finding balance or happiness after losing a job, a loved one, or you have always battled with depression or anxiety.


    Think back to a time in your life where you were truly happy…..your most authentic version of yourself. Most say, “I was single, skinny, and had no worries in life.” Oh, those were the days. Relationships, kids, schooling, your career, loss of loved ones, all come along, and you somehow lose that person you knew as “happy.” Many people can relate.


    The truth is…..there are always waves of emotions like you feel up one minute and sad the next. There is so much going on around you with friends, family, and work, that it can be overwhelming. It’s hard to say that you are happy. It’s the waves of emotions and experiences while moving through your life. The key to happiness and balance is how you ride the wave when it comes.


    Sadness, anxiousness, and depression are at an all-time high in our county. Look around you, turn on the news, there is so much going on. If you have lived on this earth long enough, and have loved just one person in your life, then you have experienced a wave of emotions that come with living. But it doesn’t have to be this way.


    True happiness is something we all strive for because we want to feel good. We want to feel that we have purpose and balance in anything we do. Humans are naturally drawn toward goodness. For example, in advertisements…..you’re more than likely to choose a certain product because of the way the woman or man is smiling in the photos. We are drawn to joy and smiles, people who look like they are enjoying life.


    In my experience with the people I help find balance and emotional wellness, they all seem to want their version of happiness. Many want a sense of control with the direction their life is heading. Things may not be perfect, but they want their life aligned in the things they believe in. Some examples like, they want connection in marriages. A balance with maintaining parenthood and their career. They want to be in good health.


    One person I know focuses on having flowers in her house. It’s a reminder of her “happy” self as a young girl. For her, it evokes the carefree times she had with her sister. For another, its daily walks to remind her of the beautiful surroundings. She enjoys the fresh air, her health, and reflections while she walks and thinks of the obstacles  she has overcome.


    Your Happiness

    Apply it to your life…..would you say that you are happy, content, and true to who you believe you are meant to be? These are questions to ask yourself. Get insync  with where you are and where you want to be. There is no better time to find your own balance!


    At this point, I hope this article has you thinking about your own happiness. This is an area in our lives where we must focus from time to time to know what needs our attention most in our lives. Tell me, what would need your attention to improve your happiness in your life? Is it job-related, a relationship, fiances, loss, etc? These are some of the topics that come up frequently with people I work with. But you are welcome to think outside those lines. It may be a combination of them all.


    What actions do you need to take to move closer to happiness? It’s good to check in and reflect on this daily, weekly, and monthly. Many people journal to put their thoughts on paper. Reading your own words can be powerful and be the roadmap you need to experience a breakthrough to end your sadness and suffering. True happiness is worth the effort. I know this personally.


    Who in your life can you be your most authentic self with? It may hurt, but it could be a mirror of what you’re feeling and also a roadmap to finding balance.


    “Life is overwhelming.” I hear this a lot. Many things demand your attention and time. But what about yourself? You cannot give from something that is empty. Since you are reading my article, you are looking for happiness. My desire is that you reflect on your own happiness.


    Our foundational happiness is like a brick wall that is built brick by brick. But once the foundation is set, our “house” can be stable, no matter what comes our way.


    In therapy, I don’t sugarcoat anything with my clients. I became a therapist because I was once a person who had lost my way. Life is hard, and there always seems to be something we hold onto that limits us from reaching our true happiness. Therapist are trained to help people rebuild their foundations in life and understand their struggles.


    Finding balance with what you have going on in life will always test the muscle because happiness and being your true self are moving targets. They change as you move through life. Understanding your mistakes and decisions is important, but so is understanding what satisfies you. It will guide you to your happiness uniquely to you. The answer to the question is, “Yes, you can find true happiness.”

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