• When is the Right Time For You Reach Out to a Therapist?

    Everyone seems to have a quiet, internal voice that helps them navigate through life decisions. It’s there…..I promise. Some call it their conscience. It’s there to shape us into who we are. Reminding us of our values, principles, and so many other things.


    There’s no doubt. We will face obstacles and struggles that we must learn how to overcome. Trust me…..I’ve had my fair share, and I’m sure you can relate. A time when you hit a wall in life, something you were not prepared for that made you feel sad, anxious, or depressed. I have learned that many people suffer in silence because they do not know who to turn to.

    Have you ever thought about seeking help? There’s a stigma about mental health that only people with serious problems are the ones who need therapy. Well…..welcome to the 20th century! My clients are good people who are simply facing tough times that they need to work through.


    Think about that for a minute. Normal everyday people need help because life can be HARD. Everyone has faced problems if they’ve lived on this Earth long enough. Your internal voice was probably telling you how to navigate your way out of the suffering you were feeling.


    Has that voice of yours ever told you that…..I should probably talk to someone about this struggle I’m having? I am almost certain you are nodding your head yes. But have you ever followed through? Like actually found help for the feeling of sadness or overwhelm that you just can’t seem to shake? These feelings keep you awake at night, have you tearful, agitated, or just lost.


    Everyday people reach out for therapy. They need a place that is safe, nonjudgmental, private, and reserved just for them to unload and find balance and wellness.


    Maybe You Were Struggling Emotionally Before Fertility Treatment

    Many have said they were feeling many emotions with trying to conceive before the point of needing fertility treatment to build their family. Then, you were blind-sided!


    You feel as if something is wrong with your body. Why can’t I just build a family like everyone else? This isn’t fun anymore. Is it me? Is it my partner? My body is broken……I’m defective……I am devastated.


    After you mentally grasp the news, cost, and treatment regimen of fertility treatments, you are stressed. And, your treatment hasn’t even begun. When you finally walk into your clinic, you have high hopes on your first try. So much has happened already, but you haven’t started the first medication.


    This is something I hear over and over again from many of my clients. They wish they had sought support from a therapist sooner.


    Fertility Treatments Were Always Part of the Plan

    To my LGBTQ community, fertility treatment or surrogacy may have always been a known factor in building your family. Many have expressed that the strain it placed on their relationship was massive and unexpected. I get it. Really, I do.


    The Gifts of a Specialized Fertility Therapist

    I have been there. It is why I am so passionate about working with the infertility community. This stuff is real, you guys. And, it’s so hard to manage alone.

    First, let me say that self-disclosure in the therapist community is met with mixed opinions. But I’m going to share it. Period. A good therapist I was seeing while I was going through my treatment once shared with me that she too faced infertility. She did not disclose her complete story, but her sharing helped me. Maybe she felt like she suffered from a “defective” body, too. I will never know.


    What we know about fertility treatment is a chance you take every month. Some have better odds than others. Some go on to win the jackpot of pregnancy, and others go from cycle to cycle praying for a baby. This is the roller coaster ride that you have to condition your emotions for. A marathon that you did not see coming. You have to train for any possible outcome. Having a therapist on board when you start your treatment ensures that you have a place to process every appointment, fear, or success.


    Friends and Families Aren’t Always Enough

    You may have a great support system. Friends who are there for you…..when they can be. The greatest friendships can sometimes be strained because of the unrelenting wave of emotions from fertility treatments. They want to be there, but they always can’t be.


    A family cannot always be in the middle of the strain that fertility treatment places on your relationship. As a therapist, I am conditioned through training, education, and experience for the sadness and stress of what you may face in your relationships during treatment. I am there for your ups and downs, your highs and lows.


    Social Media Support

    If you go anywhere on social media, you will find individuals who want to share their ups and downs with trying to build their family through infertility treatment. It is hard, and people are hurting. I can’t tell you specifically what your experience will be, but I can tell you through my personal and professional experience…..you need to be prepared for “your ups and downs.” This is AS important as your medical treatment. Have a safe space that is reserved just for you, your emotions, your thoughts. You deserve that.


    Some people are successful on the first try. Done. But they are a part of the few. The others are signing up for what feels like running a marathon…..but had no idea. That is why you need a therapist. I was one of those naïve people. I wish I had reached out sooner to have the right support for the roller coaster I faced.

    Are You Ready to Gamble with Having Everything in Place?

    You will experience lots of emotions as you put all your hopes into each appointment and bring a baby home one day. You must get ready through emotional wellness for that beautiful family that you will hopefully someday build. Your child deserves to arrive in an environment where the parent(s) are not emotionally exhausted from trying to conceive.


    Adoption? Surrogacy? or Being Childless? Which Is Best for You?

    Having a safe, nonjudgmental place to process a major life decision happens in a therapist’s office all the time. What plan or approach for your life should be met with great care. Nothing in passing, on the internet, will do. You may need to sort out all the pros and cons with someone who won’t judge you. If that is something that you can relate to…..then reach out to a therapist for help.


    I hope that the message is clear. Life is hard. Building a family is hard. Infertility is considered the “Superbowl” when building a family. Every play you make is critical to how you conquer infertility and create the family of your dreams.


    Let’s talk…..reach out to me. I’m here specifically because I once was you.

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